It sounds so obvious, doesn’t it? If you want to transform your life into what you wish for it to be, you need to change your life. Doh. And yet, it’s so hard to do, because we (as in me!) don’t know where to start, we keep waiting for that major water shed, that big big BIG change from the outside – or we try to change it all, too fast, too soon, and end up with a serious crash and burn and back to a point somewhere below scratch. Everybody who’s ever tried losing weight will probably know what I’m talking about here.
But I’m slowly starting to realize that it doesn’t have to be that way.
In terms of transforming your life, it’s all about habits, I’m discovering. About easing into it, bit by bit, by changing a few things at a time until we get the results we crave. Building confidence and getting closer every day, instead of waiting for something that will never happen, or getting into that crash and burn scenario once again, starting with everyday life.
For the longest time, I’ve wanted to be a writer, ever since I was a child, sitting there on my swing with a blank notebook and a pen, thinking up beautiful stories to write. And I was on my way to actually becoming one, too, but then, adult life happened. I became an academic instead, stopped reading fiction, and stopped writing anything other than my written assignments for my studies. My habits stopped reflecting that part of me who wanted to write. And so I stopped being a writer.
So, these last few days, I’ve been thinking about my habits, and how I need them to reflect what I want to be. How I want my habits to transform my life – because, in the end, your habits ARE your life.
In other words; in order to become what you want to become, you need to look at the habits you would have if you already were just that, and treat it like serious business. Fake it ’til you make it, so to speak.
For me, wanting to be a writer, it could look like something this:
A writer gets up in the morning, grabs herself a cup of tea, and sits down at her desk. In front of her, she has a blank sheet, where she jots down ideas and things she wants to work on today. Maybe she’s setting a goal each Monday morning, that she needs to write 3 articles for her chosen magazines, and that she also wants to write at least 5 chapters of her book. And then, there’s the networking and the marketing and the blogging, which she also has plans and goals for, and those things are incorporated into her schedule and, indeed, habits. Maybe she always skims through her favorite magazines and blogs while drinking her morning tea, to get a feeling about what she could write for them. And then she writes. Every day. When she’s done, she’s reading novels and poetry to fill up her well, just for fun, just for relaxation, just for joy.
Or it could be something entirely different, of course. You see, one of the main points is that it just needs to feel right, I’m aiming to feel like a writer – because, first off, I believe that the first step in manifesting what you want, is to get in touch with the feeling of what it’s like. And secondly, when you start feeling like something, you also start acting the part and actually transforming your life. That, in turn, gives results, and you’re suddenly in this amazing spiral, on your way to transform your life through your habits.
Go look for the feeling. What can you do, which habit can you adopt, that makes you feel like you already are what you aim to be? You know, I’m no big fan of copying other people, but habit-wise, it may actually be a good idea. Find your idols, see what their every day life look like. And then try on their ha(bi)ts, to see if it makes you feel like what you want to be.
As I told you the other day, I have been creating blank sheets of time and space these last few days. I will continue doing so throughout the weekend now, and then, on Monday morning, I will start working on my habits, building up my writer’s schedule.
Photo: My lovely, new writing space, almost done. 🙂