~ English Blog Posts ~

My Theoretical Life

25. juni 2012

I swear, notebooks will be my demise.

That, and apps. And gadgets. And anything, really, which is designed to make my life easier.

You see, this was going to be The Day. The Day everything came together, smoothly, beautifully, so lovely and streamlined and fresh. My life was Going To Become Organized.

Oh, indeed.

Yesterday, I spent two – three hours in front of this very computer, trying to find a menstrual cycle app that would either create sms’es or, preferably, be syncable with Google Calendar (which, of course, I’m considering setting up an altar for). That way, I would know, whenever I planned something, where in my cycle I’d be. And my man would also get alerts ahead of time, too. You know, about when to bring home chocolate and when to not be a jerk.

Such a thing, however… it doesn’t exist. They somehow keep insisting on that you really shouldn’t sync a fertility calendar with a Google Calendar. Heaven forbid our lives would be easily manageable with only ONE calendar, right? Those two-three hours were a complete waste of time.

And today, I woke up, still decided upon making this week oh so effective and productive. So I sat down to write a couple of blog posts for prepublishing… but then, I thought, hey, I should really plan everything a bit better, so I started reading up on blog planners.

And then, I got it into my head that I needed to go to the bookstore, to get myself yet another blank notebook, one that would be absolutely perfect for my oh, so lovely blog planner.

I have spent three hours on this now. And it’s still blank and empty, because I question my own questions about how to build one. Oh, I’m no novice at blogging. I do know how this game is played. It’s just that… I’ve gone down this road before, too. In the bookshelf in front of me, I have at least two ring binders with similar plans and worksheets, and none of them worked for me.

Why?

Because it was way more fun to make the systems than to actually use them afterwards. I’ve never been able to stick with a plan, true story. Especially if that plan was made by myself, and not some authority figure somewhere telling me that if you don’t hand in this and that assignment, you won’t get your grade or your diploma sort of thing.

So. I have spent about 6 hours out of the last 24 not making my life a tad bit easier after all. And if I HAD made it, if I did find the calendar app, and if I did manage to set up a blog planner that would actually work, I’d still only have a theoretical life. I’d still be left with the hardest task of all: to actually use my own systems.

I think I have this allergy. Once I see my dreams and plans in black and white, I shun away. On my mini-PC, I have these organizing stickers, and one of them is a list of books I want to read. I don’t actually want to read any of them now, just because they’re on that list. How lame is that?

*sighs*

This clearly has to stop.

So, in the name of procrastinating even a bit more today, I’m going to leave my office, kindle in hand, sit myself down in my couch with a nice cup of tea, and start reading  The Right-Brain Business Plan (affiliate link to Amazon).

Maybe even the following-throughing will be a bit more fun after that. One can sure hope.

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  1. We must be related somehow! I do the same thing to myself all the time. Then I try to convince myself that maybe I am just a fly by the seat of my pants kind of girl…only I know that things do not mesh together well that way. Then I tell myself that it will be done in the best way for me. See the circular pattern of this inner argument? After reading your post, I know that you do! Maybe someday we’ll figure it out…*sigh*

    1. Hahaha, this made me laugh! That’s EXACTLY how it is; I’ve been thinking that oh, this is what I’m supposed to be doing, and so it should just kinda be inevitable that I do the right thing at the right time because it’s simply ment to be, yaknow? And then, years later, I’m still on the same spot, with the same dreams, the same plans… without anything but dreams to show for it. Well, that, and some left-brained plans that collects its fair amount of dust somewhere, it’s hopeless. So now, I’m going to try to combine my two brain halfs and my two personas, and make plans accordingly. Yes. 🙂

  2. LOL! this is just how I feel.. I dream big, and then when I begin planning and writing things down in a kind of plan it all seams so wrong! Did it just today. And I came back to the same old plan – get better first. But I have been pushing away my own success way to long now, and I actually need to start living the life to get anything done.

    I am going for a rest-travel tomorow (or at least I hope I am) and I wil bring my book; the big leap, wich you recomended me to read, and read it fully again.

    *miss chatting nonsense with you :)*

  3. Hah – I know this too well. I have the same syndrome 🙂 Sometime its better sometimes worse 🙂 So congratulations, you made a cool smart blogpost out of it!

  4. Hah – I know this too well. I have the same syndrome 🙂 Sometime its better sometimes worse 🙂 So congratulations, you made a cool smart blogpost out of it!

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