~ English Blog Posts ~

In Suspense

27. januar 2013

sus·pense  (s-spns)

n.

1. The condition of being physically suspended.
2.

a. The state or quality of being undecided, uncertain, or doubtful.
b. Pleasurable excitement and anticipation regarding an outcome, such as the ending of a mystery novel.
3. Anxiety or apprehension resulting from an uncertain, undecided, or mysterious situation.

 

Dear Reader,

It’s been a while since I posted. Since I had the energy to write, or a clue about what I would write in the first place.

For those of you familiar with the Tarot cards, I guess the following would be a good metaphor:

The Tower has crashed. I am now in a Hanged Man position, waiting for an ace, any ace, to come my way. Preferably the Ace of Pentacles.

It has been three months since I decided to leave my partner. Three months searching for a new place to live with my daughter, who is to stay with me for 60% of the time. For the time being, we’ve changed our address to my parent’s house. All my stuff is temporarily stocked in my ex’s basement, where I’m writing this from now.

It’s the definition of stuckness.

All the suitable apartments that have been advertised, are way too expensive. The paper mill is being slow, so I have no clue as of yet how the financial situation will be, and therefore… no chances can be taken as to how much I can afford rent-wise.

But I prayed for an easy transition. I guess that’s what I’m getting now, a time where everything moves slowly and steadily, almost too slow to notice, so that my daughter will have time to readjust. She’s getting to see how her dad redesigns and rearranges what has been our home, to suit his own tastes and needs. Slowly, one piece of furniture at the time, while I’m still somewhat around.

Continuum.

Until I can find us a new home, and start my brand new Goddess life.

I pray it will be soon.

 

{Photo Credit}

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  1. That limbo state can be so difficult. I remember going through my own only a few years ago and there were times with I was sure that it wasn’t going to end…but it did. Now, I’m living a life which is so much better and have no regrets about my decisions. Your time will come.

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