~ English Blog Posts ~

How Do You Wish to Spend Your Time?

22. februar 2012

Jamie Ridler’s prompt this Wishcasting Wednesday, is to write about how we would wish to spend our time.

And you know, there was a time I thought this would be an easy question to answer. I’d love to read a good book. Watch a great movie. To be left alone, quite simply, to meditate and dwell on my own thoughts and dreams. But then I got that, and it was lonely and depressing and I didn’t want it anymore.

(I realized this the night I caught myself saying good night to the anchor man on the TV, after a day when going to the toilet was the most exiting thing I’d done. It must have been the day after I did laundry. Oh yeah, I had some REALLY adventurous days back then.)

I wanted a boyfriend and a child, to spend all my time with them. And as I met him, and became pregnant, I remember sighing with relief… that I’d actually wouldn’t be alone anymore, at least in the next 18 years to come. My days of insane mumbling with whoever was on TV was over, for good, and that thought felt so comforting to me. Never. Alone. Again.

Fast forward again, to present day.

Now I’m a mom to a wonderful 4-year old. And while I love spending time with my man and our daughter (she has the most amazing cheeks to kiss!!), there are of course times when I miss the silence and the empty days from Way Back When I Could Hear My Own Thoughts and actually complete them without having to wipe somebody’s tush in the middle of a spontaneous meditation or Deep Thought. I’m an introvert, you see. It can be hard to be held hostage in the outside world without being able to dive deep into oneself once in a while.

Balance, I think, is the word I’m looking for here. I need to balance how I spend my time. Too little or too much of anything, and it goes sour on me.

I will never be happy about how I spend my time, unless I have a choice. It’s a prison if you can’t escape – and I’m just not happy in captivity.

What I’ve realized is that I always, without exception, long for the option that would give me the most freedom from where I am at the moment. I’m always looking for the escape sign, the thing that will keep me from feeling like a caged animal, the path that will lead to me living so wildly and freely as I can.

So.

How I wish to spend my time?

I wish to spend my time as a Free Soul, dancing only to the tunes of my own heartbeat, doing whatever calls to me in the moment, in a perfect trust that it will be the right thing to do, in that exact moment.

How about you?
 
Creative Commons License photo credit: `this.is.epic

 

Følg meg på Facebook, Instagram og Bloglovin' så blir jeg glad! 🙂

 

  1. Very well said… such lovely wishing.
    No need to worry, you will regain that time again, children grow up fast and time slips between our fingers. I look back and think, » where did the time go, my oldest is 25, and I am a Grandmother now!» :]
    As you wish for yourself, I wish for you as well.
    Take care.

    1. Thank you for that. 🙂

      Yeah, I’m sure I will get my time back, eventually, and look longingly back on the days when she was little and had time for me. 🙂

  2. Nienna,
    I’m an introvert too and I totally know what you’re talking about. I had 3 kids and some days it was all I could do to keep them all alive. One day I caught myself reading the back of a cereal box! We all lived through it and managed to have a lot of fun along the way. As you wish for yourself, I wish for you also. Beth

  3. I think my days have turned into your ‘adventurous’ days from back then. 😉 Now home feels somewhat like a cage, but it is a self-imposed cage so I guess I shouldn’t complain.

    1. Self-imposed cages can actually be the worst kind, I think. Then you get the self-blaming on one hand, or a certain degree of apathy on the other. But no. Don’t complain. 🙂 Do something about it instead, if you have realized that you’re trapped! 🙂

  4. «I will never be happy about how I spend my time, unless I have a choice. It’s a prison if you can’t escape – and I’m just not happy in captivity.»

    Wow, such a beautiful way to put it. That’s exactly how I feel too. I’m really glad I stumbled upon your post today.

  5. Hey Nienna! How lovely to find you here too, as well as Leonie’s biz course. Beautiful post. I so hear you on that! my youngest is now 3 & my life is starting to find its balance again. I agree with April, it does go so fast, that I know to enjoy it for now ( my eldest is now 10). As you wish for yourself, I wish for you too.

  6. Hi Nienna,
    Thanks for this honest and heartfelt post. I am an introvert too, so I can totally relate to how you feel. I love being around the people I love, but there are times, I just wish I was given more alone time. It’s the only way I can keep any sanity. Thanks for wishing along with me yesterday.
    As you wish for yourself, I wish for you too.
    Greetings from France.

  7. Such a great wish, Nienna. Balance seems like a simple thing, but I think it’s hard for all of us. Here’s to a life more balanced…as you wish for yourself, so I also wish for you!

  8. I’m also an introvert and I can imagine how it feels sometimes, if you constantly live together with other people. I live together with other people to (but I’m not yet a mother) and it is so important to search for some silence every now and then.
    As you wish for yourself, so I wish for you also.

  9. Wonderful post – I want this …. hmm, OK then, now what? …. I can so relate! I’m an only child, & as you say, love CHOICES!! I need my alone time, as well as loving family time! Right now I babysit my 9 month old grandson 4 mornings each week, & work afternoons (massage therapy) …. and ~ 20 years ago, when my kids were grown, ran away to live at a Hot Springs ‘worker owned co-op’ retreat center. Folks ask how I had enough alone time living in community – quite simple! I went home & closed the door ….

    As you wish for yourself, so I wish for you, throughout your days!

  10. What we want keeps shifting, doesn’t it? Seems like we just get what we want, and the target moves again. Silly humans 🙂 As you wish for yourself, I wish for you also.

  11. Hello Nienna! As you wish I will wish it too for you. I wish to spend my time more on my family and friends because we never know when we gonna leave in this world. Spending the best of your best time is great.

Legg igjen en kommentar

Din e-postadresse vil ikke bli publisert. Obligatoriske felt er merket med *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.