You know, I wish there were an easy recipe to becoming a Goddess. That there were a button somewhere with the inscription «Instant Goddess» written all over it in a lovely font with sparkly colors, that you could just push whenever you felt the need for that upgrade.
But there isn’t one.
You can Google the term «How to be a Goddess» all day long, if you want to, but at best you will only find other women’s stories and thoughts on the subject. Don’t get me wrong, my dear reader – those stories are worth their weight in precious stones and gold, and they can give you faith and inspiration to move forward with you own life, but at the end of the day, it’s their story, not yours. And even if those stories on those blogs were written especially for women like you, trying to find their way, it’s inevitable that the writer’s own definitions will seep through the words and possibly taint your own, not yet developed definitions of who you think you should be.
I think womanhood can be tricky like that. The feminine soul has been suppressed for so long that many of us have forgotten who we are. Many are brought up to be Good Girls, many live as martyrs for their family, or have been told that our emotions are irrational and worthless, that our dreams will never come true because [insert pragmatic reason here]. And then, we are wired to connect deeply with other people, we want it so badly, perhaps, that we are willing to lose ourselves to fit into that tribe. Even that Goddess Tribe.
It’s truly a double-edged sword.
Becoming a Goddess is not about other people’s definition of what a Goddess should be like. You need to make your own definitions, to get deeply in touch with your own soul, your strengths, your bliss, your values, and let those guide you. The stronger you build your own core, the less likely you are to end up trying to copy someone else, dazzled by their sparkling Goddess charm.
And the good and the bad news is that you’ll never be done. If your definitions are set in stone, then you are depriving yourself of maybe the most important part of the Goddess way of life – the growth, the changing of the seasons, the transformations. Sometimes you will add stuff to you particular brand of Goddess, sometimes you will subtract. Sometimes you will feel like you are dying inside, and yet, sometimes, you will feel like you are brand new in this world, a completely different woman than you were last month. It’s all good.
I can’t tell you how to be a Goddess. I’m still working on my own goddessness, and even if I did tell you, my path would probably not be right for you. We are different. We come from different backgrounds, we have different soul gifts. I’m not going to impose on you my definitions and expect you to have the same lessons in your life as I have in mine. It wouldn’t be fair.
But I will tell you this, my dear reader. Being a Goddess is about being yourself. It’s about digging deep, through the layers of other people’s definitions and expectations, into you core soul, developing your own true expression and bringing whatever you find there out into your world.
It’s about being clear on your values. About daring to test those values in real life, to see if they truly fit. Sometimes you find you have blocks that shouldn’t be there. Sometimes you’ll find that you only think you have blocks, because someone’s indirectly telling you that you need to let go of a certain set of values to fit into that tribe.
You are the only one who can tell the difference between a true value and a false one, between a real block or something that just feels inauthentic for you. This is where your definitions come in again, along with your intuition and sense of self.
If you want to know how to be a Goddess, you need to spend just as much (if not more) time searching your soul as you do reading Goddess blogs and how-to’s.
A good place to start, though, is to get to know your own values, as they appear to you right now. Think them through, watch yourself throughout the day and see if you can find which values and motifs are behind your actions. Ask yourself why this is important to you, and don’t stop asking before you’re at the very core of the issue. Go on a childhood safari in your mind, to find out where your values come from and if they should be upgraded or not.
And then, try out any new values to see if they feel as right in action as in your mind. Give it some time before you decide, as it may feel a bit strange at first anyhow, but monitor your gut feeling and listen to what it tells you. You may discover some wonderful new things about yourself and what you’re capable of, and you may get some real surprises, too.
Being a Goddess, to me, is about being your authentic, higher self as a woman. But then again, it might mean something entirely different to you. Goddesses come in many shapes and forms, and that’s exactly how it should be.