Forgive me, Mother Earth, for I have sinned…
I have really let my green and lovely habits slip this summer, and I really don’t know why. I suppose I could blame it on the stress. On laziness or perhaps a desire to make family life a little bit easier. It’s kinda hard being the only one who cares, and there has been some conflicts over everything from what we’re having for dinner (and who’s making it), how the dishes are supposed to be cleaned (somehow an antibacterial dish washer soap made it to my kitchen cabinet, while the lovely and natural Ecover version found itself in the basement(!)), and I could just go on and on.
I couldn’t take it anymore, so I budged, ever so slightly. But yet, enough to make me feel really crappy. I bought a regular deodorant, and I started using a regular foundation, too, while eating processed foods, drinking bucket fulls of aspartame coke…
Oh,yes. My fall from natural health is almost absolute. And I can really, really feel it. I’m tired all the time, I have little to no energy in my body, my psoriasis is flaring up… I’m a mess. Losing weight, admittedly, since a low carb/paleo diet obviously does nothing for my weight, and I’ve started counting calories again (hence, the aspartame), but health and energy-wise… I’m not doing that great.
Luckily, I know why, what to do about it, and how.
First of all, aspartame is cancelled. I might need some days to curb it, but come Monday… it’s gone. Green tea and water will replace it (which tastes like crap anyway).
Secondly, I’m going back to nutrient dense, natural foods, while still counting calories. Wheat flour has to go. I was eating lacto-paleo before, and that’s what I’m gonna do again. And I’ll make sure to share my recipes with you, too! Might make for some nice Saturday posts, don’t you think? 🙂
And thirdly, I’m going green in my home again. I need to make a new, natural deodorant (I’m going to try making one with bee’s wax this time!) and I need to buy myself a new foundation – maybe mineral. Oh, and a new floor soap – my favorite one is Ecover’s. I’ll grab a bottle tomorrow, and start cleaning Monday morning, when my daughter is back in kindergarten and her dad is at work.
Me and my lovely daughter also decided yesterday that we should start making homemade cloth wipes to keep in the car for her, for when she has her ice creams (which, these days, is every day).
Because… yes, it’s hard sometimes. The more you need natural foods, the less likely you are to be making dinner from scratch. Conflicts will rise when you are all exhausted, making it that much harder to maintain a green lifestyle, and temptations, well… they are all around, and it’s easy to slip. I don’t think perfectionism is the way to go, but I need to take it to a more comfortable level.
At the same time, I’m so happy to see how well my green lifestyle is actually holding up through these ordeals. I notice how I’m automatically making the right choices when the those are presented to me, like, say, a hotel breakfast. I’m opting for proteins and fats instead of empty carbs and wheat, organic if I can, because my body tells me what I need. And I actually haven’t started eating bread again, even if I do have pizza way too often these days.
And I still feel the cringe. Yesterday, we were having a hotel breakfast, and I almost moaned out loud when I saw the plastic spoons they had put beside the hard-boiled eggs. I opted out, deciding to eat it with my hands instead. I mean, come ooon! Plastic tea spoons? At a hotel? When they obviously had regular ones, over with the tea? *facepalm*
Yeah, and not to mention the theme park we went to yesterday, where we watched a 4d movie about a lady bug talking about how important it is to respect the environment and all the living beings on the planet, and I went to have a cup of tea afterwards, in the area where they sold toys from Wild Republic… and had to drink it from a disposable cup. *another facepalm* Say what again, about the environment? Would it kill a restaurant to have actual CUPS?
Yes. I’m getting angry and frustrated over these things. When I hurt the environment with plastic and disposables and toxins, it makes me feel like I’m ruining something beautiful. It’s hard for me to describe it, because I realize that most people think about this more than they actually feel… but for me, it’s both. I get affected in an emotional level. It makes me feel like I’m hurting someone I love, and I hate that feeling.
That’s why this offbeat goddess is going green again. Because this just doesn’t feel right, not at all. I miss the feeling of blessing my home with essential oils when I clean, instead of cursing it with toxins. I miss the feeling of loading the laundry machine with cloth, knowing that I’ve saved the environment of the equal amounts of trash, and that it’s now being cleaned with natural laundry soap.
And I think I might have to print out some notes to put in the plastic spoons and disposable cups area, to ask them nicely to change their ways, too.